Far From Normal

I can’t say that I’ve ever thought of my life as particularly exciting. I’m pretty much a homebody, and varying levels of anxiety tend to keep me from taking many social risks. To be honest, I think that’s how a lot of us feel, isn’t it? We limit our level of risk, work to get by, spend the majority of our lives eating and sleeping. That said, I also know that everyone’s life has a bit of excitement in it. When I used to work in retail, I would tell my coworkers stories about my life and my family, and they would always laugh and say things like “those type of things never happen to me”, or “your life is full of characters!”. After hearing that over and over, I started to believe that most people don’t look closely enough at their every day lives. Sure, my story might be funny and seem unbelievable, but the same thing could have happened to you yesterday, and you might have neglected to take notice of it. This post is about affirming my belief that there is no true “normal”, and that each of us should take a step back once in awhile and recognize what makes us different. Here are six things that make me unique:

  1. I have been a vegetarian for more than twenty years. While I know that veganism and vegetarianism seem to be current trends that grew in popularity along with organic food, I’ve been a vegetarian since childhood. It was not forced upon me, I chose it, and my family was completely supportive of that choice. This puts me in the odd position of telling people that no, I can’t just go back to eating meat, because it has been so long since I ate it that it would actually make me sick. People are generally dumbfounded and ask me how I can live without [insert favorite meat here]. Think about it for a second. Usually people ask me how I can live without things like steak or prime rib. I just told you I’ve been a vegetarian since I was six. Did you eat steak or prime rib when you were six? Probably not. Your meat consumption at that age probably consisted of chicken nuggets, fish sticks, hot dogs, and hamburgers. I don’t miss any of those, and I don’t miss your favorite meat meal either, as I’ve never actually had it, and never will.
  2. I’m allergic to caffeine. This usually gets more shock out of people than the vegetarian thing. How can you live without caffeine? They ask. The truth is, I don’t. My allergy isn’t severe, and I can get by eating chocolate or drinking a glass of soda (as long as it isn’t the really heavily caffeinated varieties like Mountain Dew) once in awhile. I love herbal tea rather than black, and I’ve never really had coffee, so I don’t feel like I’m missing out there either. If you met me, you’d never know I live life mostly caffeine free, as I have plenty of energy.
  3. I love the female body, but I’m not a lesbian. I think women are beautiful. I love their curves. I love makeup. I love an intricate hairstyle. I have coffee table books full of vintage pinups. For awhile in college I had a subscription to Playboy. I have a dream to go to the World Pole Dancing Championships in Las Vegas…or the Burlesque Hall of Fame. I used to be a regular at a local strip club, until my favorite stripper moved to another city. I wish I had the talent to be a feature dancer, or the money to open my own cabaret club. I dream of singing on top of grand piano in a slinky dress (I can’t actually sing, and don’t look great in slinky dresses). I think everyone looks sexy in red lipstick. It should go back to being socially acceptable to wear corsets all the time. Dita Von Teese, Jo Weldon, Sally Rand, Betty Grable, and many other women that aren’t Susan B. Anthony (I actually really dislike Susan B. Anthony. Thanks for the vote, you racist, elitist crazy person.) are my heroes.
  4. I have no personal experience with divorce in my family. I think in this day and age, this is something unique about me. I think it makes me different. While a few members of my extended family are divorced, at least one of them was already divorced before I was born, and the others are cousins I rarely see. My parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles and siblings are still on their first marriage. I have seen friends deal with the divorce of their parents, and even had friends growing up who were the products of a second marriage rather than a first, and I know it can be hard. I just can’t imagine it. The idea of having a marriage end is so foreign to me, and I have trouble wrapping my mind around it. In my family, couples are affectionate in public and joke about their sex lives all the way into their seventies. I count myself among the lucky ones.
  5. I work as a professional clown. No, I’m not creepy. Yes, I get offended when people react to this statement (as they almost always do) by saying nasty things about clowns and how scary they are and insult something that I truly enjoy and am good at without even thinking that it might hurt my feelings.
  6. I make dolls. It can be hard to learn how to make porcelain dolls now that the majority of dollmakers are senior citizens and most local classes are disappearing…fast. I was determined though, and when you’re determined enough, there is always a way.

I’m sure I could think of more if I sat down and racked my brain a little harder. What six things make you unique?